Words still escape me as I sit here four days after the tragedy that occurred Friday in my home state of Connecticut. Newtown is a small town. A close knit community. Home of the Hawks. Just minutes from my hometown.
I am devastated that a place known for its safe yards and good schools will forever be remembered for one of the deadliest massacres in history.
As the events unfolded Friday morning and reports began to surface, I was in a state of shock and disbelief. My thoughts immediately traveled to my six year old brother who, like all students in the area, was sitting in lockdown in his first grade classroom. I wondered what could be going through his young mind while the shades were drawn and the doors shut. He wouldn’t be allowed to go to recess or leave the classroom to go to the bathroom.
Finally, I received a call from my mom that my little man was home safe. Relief flooded over me. Even a smile touched my lips when I found out his suspicions that a fox was the threat that kept his class inside.
But, I felt guilty of my relief. Far too many families would not feel the same.
Too many beds would be left empty, too many Christmas presents left unwrapped. It is painful to put myself in the shoes of the families who lost loved ones on Friday, and even more difficult to imagine the fear that the children and staff at Sandy Hook must have felt.
The only thing that is stronger than fear is love and compassion.
I choose to pray for those who are hurting so that they may find peace. I choose to be grateful for my friends and family and the love we share. I choose to honor those who lost their lives by living life to the fullest.
A song by the amazing Kait Weston for the beautiful angels of Newtown: